Sometimes, I just don't understand.

Here's going to be a challenge for me ... writing without whining! I want to write about something that's really bugging me - but I certainly don't want to come across like I'm complaining. It's just that I don't understand.

I made a few phone calls today. This is something I generally don't like doing, and now I remember why! I was calling people from our church that I haven't seen in a while. It's summertime, so the normal story is that they were/are on vacation or are going away for weekends. I perfectly understand that - in fact - sometimes I'm a bit jealous and imagine I'd do the same thing if I was in their position. But, as a pastor, I can't really take off many weekends! ;)

But then there's the few that you find out have left the church to find another. Oof! Talk about a punch to the gut. You think you are friends and have a relationship with them, and to find out they not only left the church, but didn't even have the courtesy to meet with me before to talk about things.

Most of the time, whenever someone does come to talk to be because of their concerns, we can work things out and end up better friends than ever! Sadly, I think that's why they don't come - because they really don't want things to work out. Am I wrong? Perhaps.

All I know is that I'm hurting a bit right now. I wish I could clearly share my vision for what God wants to do in our part of the world so that EVERYONE would want to be a part of it - or at least those who ARE a part of it would want to stick around. It feels like I have let them down, let the church down and let God down.

I guess I'll just have to pray for them that they are truly following God's leading, and pray for our church that we be encouraged to press on with those who remain, and pray for myself, that I learn from my mistakes but not get distracted from the wonderful, wonderful plan God has in store for my life & that of the church He has called me to shepherd.